Gitana

Hey you guys, im going through this AMAZING phase, and I just have to talk about it.

So music right, my current life. Do you know how it started? Legend has it that a long long time ago....This is an ancient Greek legend okay. A long, long time ago there was this married couple who were so madly in love.

I dont know the details because ive watched it on tv and it was a really long time ago.

They were madly in love, bla bla bla, the wife was amazing, absolutely everything to the hubby, and he was everything to her as well. And then, a bad day came and the wife died young. The hubby, well he went mental. He went into grief and agony and just couldn't live. So he eased his pain when he discovered music, he was the first person who made music, or was it some god who handed him the first musical instrument? Okay whatever, he was the first person to make music. The musical instrument was a lyre and with it, he just started plucking the strings and over time, he created a melody so sad, it seemed magical.

Now he had to get his wife back. He just had to, and the only way he could do that was to go to the place where all the dead souls go to, hell a.k.a the underworld. And the ruler of the underworld was a cruel, vicious, unmerciful, dark, miserable, cold god by the name of Hades. The husband went to him and appealed to him, but Hades said no, he couldn't have his wife back, she was long gone. So then, the husband took his lyre out and started plucking, and when Hades heard the music, he started crying.

Hades! Crying! The coldest most darkest, no-feelings dude was crying!!!

So Hades said, okay you may take your wife back and all. But Hades was still a really mean person, so then he said that he could only get his wife back if he traveled out of the underworld (its a really hectic process to get to the underworld, not many mortals are able to do it when theyre alive) back to the top, without looking behind to see if his wife was following him.

And so the husband started his journey and a while later, he started doubting if his wife was really behind him, following. He wondered if he should trust Hades, the worst person in the world. His doubt, made him go nuts and temptation took over him. 'Is she behind me or not? Id probably never get to go back there again. Why should I trust Hades?' And then he turned around. And his wife was there. And she disappeared. She was gone for good. Then he started playing more and more and people around him started getting into it and here we are today.

Music comes from the word magic. Music is like, the tales of this century, I dont wanna exaggerate too much coz ive gone a wee bit sideways of the topic. But I feel sorry for the people who listen to music and are like, oh cool, nice beats, fun lyrics. Cool song.

FEEL THE MUSIC PEOPLE, FEEL IT!

Anyway, back to that amazing phase I was talking about, so I was listening to the song, Gypsy by Shakira. And I have no idea what happened but it suddenly hit me. I felt like I found myself. I felt free, wondering how it would be like to live as a gypsy.

Coz at that moment, what I did was, I dumped the past, just dumped it. Like it never happened, I just dumped everything and I felt like a new person, pure person. With like a huge zest for the future. Going forward, meeting amazing people, fall in love multiple times, not getting hurt coz lifes already hurt me, dance and sing and travel. It felt so good and so amazing. It was like, I could be happy again and follow the rules of life by breaking the rules of society. I mean, life is too short to be taken so seriously. Thats why I like kids, they are people who havent got their hearts broken yet and still dont know what its like. They can do anything without having to be pressured by the rules of society.

Go listen to the song. Nadal is topless in the music vid ;)

And soon, id be able to dump my past for a month and be a gypsy. But id have to come back to the past again which is currently my present. And ims o freaking lucky coz in the future, youd know what you were supposed to do in the past. It would be like a second chance to fix everything. I dont know until when this phase is gonna last, but as long as im having it, im gonna be really really happy.

Love U <3

"Walking gets too boring, when uve learned how to fly."

Irreplaceable.

Yeah I was hearing one of my favourite diva's songs when I was thinking about the title of the post and its pretty perfect.

What happened to us? Things are different now, very different, now that most of my fun and awesome friends are in college, im left with you guys. And this post is directed to a certain someone who is supposed to be one of my best friends.

Im lonely, I admit, im lonely now days, I dont have anyone to go out with. And there are so many things going on in your life that im left out of. Why is it that the rest know whats going on with your life and I dont? I dont feel like we are close anymore, im like a gang member.

Theres nothing going on in my life, so I wanna hear whats going on with yours. And if there is something going on with mine, who do you think I wanna tell? You are special to me, I may seem to have a lot of friends but you used to top them all, you were ranked highest on the list even if it seemed as if there were many other people that topped you. Now that they are far away and M.I.A, I need you the most. Ive always needed you but now you matter the most.

You are always caught up in work, tuition stuff, I understand, but why is it whenever you open your mouth, I never get to hear anything? The rest do and I get left behind. Not knowing much. I cant talk to you about real problems like I can talk to the rest about, you have none, so you dont tell me any. Which makes us the 'hide our private lives best friends'.

Seeing you laugh all the time while I sit out not understanding Mandarin that well, it sucks. Ive been living like that for 4 years now, I have to go through another year. I cant be myself around you. I have to fake myself. Pretend to be fine with it. Im really not and now im way too sick of it...

Im actually a fun, happy person. Why is it so hard for me to be happy around you guys? Well, im left out. I feel like a parasite, that you guys feel sorry for, im just an addition. Thats why I cant be happy, you guys dont let me in.

WELL I WANNA BE ACCEPTED. Coz you guys are all I have.

='(

Im a real person, I have good qualities that you guys dont know about. I shut up all the time and it kills me because I wanna say so many things, im bottling up inside ready to burst but im not accepted. You guys wont take me seriously.

I had severe depression once because I was so lonely at 13 years old. 13 YEARS OLD. I WAS A KID AND I WAS THAT MISERABLE! I WAS THIRTEEN YEARS OLD AND TAKING DEPRESSION PILLS!!!!. You guys have no idea how its like to cry everyday single fucking day when I get back from school and see my parents faces so sad to know they cant do anything about their daughter going through hell and back everyday. You have no idea.

Ill be gone in July and ill be back in August. I want a reason to feel happy to be back with you guys.